Since I was a child, I never felt like I belonged or fit in. I was always too loud, too hyper, and making friends was hard for me. The inner dialogue was even more self-defeating and caused me to have no self-esteem. As a teenager, I made friends that treated me badly. I did whatever I could to make them happy because that made me feel worthy of their friendship. I made friends with whoever I could drink and party with, because that was the best way to have fun, in my mind. I never had close friends that I could rely on, but I thought I had everything I needed. I thought I would drink and use for the rest of my life.
After 4 overdoses, a bad car accident, and a couple arrests, my parents told me to go back in jail or go to rehab. I was full of anger, guilt, shame, and fear. They told me I would go to sober living after, and I immediately argued. I never thought I could follow the rules because I never listened to my parents before, so why would I listen to a house manager telling me what to do?
My parents found Sober Living by Tiffany for me while I was in treatment for 30 days and I’m so grateful for this place. I was anti social and angry when I first moved in. I stayed in bed most of the time and barely talked to my roommates. Now I have almost 10 months clean and I have lost the desire to use drugs. It is truly a miracle. The staff here requires us to work a program, something I knew nothing about. I am fortunate enough to have a sponsor who I love and feel comfortable to tell anything to, and she gives me advice. I never used to listen to anyone’s advice so I’m grateful for the humility I have today to listen to her advice. I have been through losing jobs, the death of a loved one, and other hard times since I’ve gotten clean. However, I share them with my sponsor and house manager and get through them without using. I have been shown love in this house, and as a result have learned to love new girls that move in. I get on my knees and pray every morning and every night, and God has given me so many blessings in these past ten months. This is my first experience in recovery and I am seeing so much growth in myself. I do not have to pretend to be anything, I can be loved and accepted just the way I am. I try to do service every day, and I have found true happiness since I’ve been living here in sober living.
It is all thanks to the managers, God and the NA fellowship. This place has a very specific structure, and it has worked for many others before me. Living the program is making my life so much better. The managers here truly care about us and are always there to listen. I have become a better person than I have ever been, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds!